Dear ,

I don't really know how to tell you this, but I'll join the monastery. I think I realized it when I quoted Santa with George Bush and his wife and I saw you ignore Bill Clinton. I'm sure you're scarred enough to understand that I did a sex-change. I'm also returning your Darth Vader poster to you, but I'll keep the oil stocks as a memory. You should also know that I always wanted to break cocaine abuse.

Good luck on your short-term leave from jail,
Duskynn

(And now, because I'm curious to see how this will turn out, I'd like to rewrite it in my own style. *chuckles*)

Dearest brother,

 I've decided to follow my dreams and join the monastery.
 It's something I've wanted to do; ever since that night when I quoted Santa with George Bush and his wonderful wife, and you responded by blatantly ignoring Bill Clinton, I've known that I'd been missing something.
 In an effort to stave off these ill feelings, I decided to have a sex change. I apologize for not discussing it with you earlier; I thought that you of all people would understand, considering how equally scarred our minds are.
 But I can't hide all of this anymore. I have to set myself free- I can't live my life as I've been. I was meant to be a female monk, and that's that. I know it in my heart, and I'm sorry that I didn't tell you.
 I truly feel awful for hiding all of this…
 I'll return your Darth Vader poster to you soon. I know that it was a gift, but trying to decide whether it or the Wookiee Jesus poster should hang in the front room has been eating away at my mind for months. However, I'd appreciate if you'd let me keep the rights to our oil stocks… I haven't payed off my sex-change-surgery yet, and quite frankly I fear I have no other choice but to spend my life savings on it if I can't fund it with the oil sales.
 Before I finish writing this, I'd like to thank you for one thing. I think you've given me the confidence to finally break my habit of cocaine abuse. I know how upsetting it's been to you and Chloe, watching me waste away and give Dynkyrai everything I own to pay for my fixes, so I've decided to put an end to it.
 Don't worry about me, though. I'll be fine- I've been through much worse, and I don't intend to let any of this beat me. I'll face my life as I've always wanted to- with a ceremonial robe and breasts.

P.S. Best of luck on parol. I know that you don't have much time left on your leave from prison, but I'd still like to visit you. Perhaps we could talk about everything that's been going on over a cup of tea? I'd really like to show you a new dress that I've picked out. It's simply fabulous.

Sincerely,

your loving sister Brook


(… I feel like I may have just sold my soul.)

I tag Chloe, for tagging me for another meme that gave Shao the idea to tag me for this one. *laughs*


--> How you do the Letter Meme:

Dear -icon of the person who tagged you-
I don't really know how to tell you this, but ___1___. I think I realized it ___2___ ___3___ and I saw you ___4___ ___5___. I'm sure you're ___6___ enough to understand ___7___. I'm returning ___8___ to you,but I'll keep ___9___ as a memory. You should also know that I ___10___ ___11___ .

___12____, -Your name-


1. What's the color of your shirt?
Blue - Our romance is over
Red - Our affair is over
White - I'll join the monastery
Black - I dislike you
Green - Our horoscope doesn't match
Grey - You're a pervert
Yellow - I'm selling myself
Pink - Your nostrils are insulting
Brown - The mafia wants you
No shirt - You're a loser
Other - I'm in love with your sister

2. Which is your birth month?
January - That night
February - Last year
March - When your dwarf bit me
April - When I tripped on sesame seeds
May - First of May
June - When you put cuffs on me
July - When I threw up
August - When I saw the shrunken head
September - When we skinny dipped
October - When I quoted Santa
November - When your dog ran amok
December - When I changed tennis shoes

3. Which food do you prefer?
Tacos - In your apartment
Pizza - In your camping car
Pasta - Outside of Chicago
Hamburgers - Under the bus
Salad - As you ate enchilada
Chicken - In your closet
Kabob - With Paris Hilton
Fish - In women's clothing
Sandwiches - At the Hare Krishna graduation
Lasagna - At the mental hospital
Hot dog - Under a state of trance
None of the above - With George Bush and his wife

4. What's the color of your socks?
Yellow - Hit on
Red - Insult
Black - Ignore
Blue - Knock out
Purple - Pour syrup on
White - Carve your initials into
Grey - Pull the clothes off
Brown - Put leeches on
Orange - Castrate
Pink - Pull the toupee off
Barefoot - Sit on
Other - Drive out

5. What's the color of your underwear?
Black - My best friend
White - My father
Grey - Bill Clinton
Brown - My fart balloon
Purple - My mustard soufflé
Red - Donald Duck
Blue - My avocado plant
Yellow - My penpal in Ghana
Orange - My Kid Rock-collection
Pink - Manchester United's goalkeeper
None - My John F. Kennedy-statue
Other - The crazy monk

6. What do you prefer to watch on TV?
Scrubs - Man
O.C. - Emotional
One Tree Hill - Open
Heroes - Frostbitten
Lost - High
House - Scarred
Simpsons - Cowardly
The news - Mongolic
Idol - Masochistic
Family Guy - Senile
Top Model - Middle-class
None of the above - Ashamed

7. Your mood right now?
Happy - How awful I've felt
Sad - How boring you are
Bored - That Santa doesn't exist
Angry - That your pimples are at the last stage
Depressed - That we're cousins
Excited - That there is no solution to this
Nervous - The middle-east
Worried - That your Honda sucks
Apathetic - That I did a sex-change
Ashamed - That I'm allergic to your hamster
Cuddly - That I get turned on by garbage men
Overjoyous - That I'm open
Other - That Extreme Home Makeover sucks

8. What's the color of your walls in your bedroom?
White - Your ring
Yellow - Your love letters
Red - Your Darth Vader-poster
Black - Your tame stone
Blue - The couch cushions
Green - The pictures from LA
Orange - Your false teeth
Brown - Your contact book
Grey - Our matching snoopy-bibs
Purple - Your old lottery coupons
Pink - The cut toenails
Other - Your memories from the military service

9. The first letter of your first name?
A/B - Your photo
C/D - The oil stocks
E/F - Your neighbour Martin
G/H - My virginity
I/J - The results of your blood-sample
K/L - Your left ear
M/N - Your suicide note
O/P - My common sense
Q/R - Your mom
S/T - Your collection of butterflies
U/V - Your criminal record
W/X - David's tricot outfits
Y/Z - Your grades from college

10. The last letter in your last name?
A/B - Always will remember
C/D - Never will forget
E/F - Always wanted to break
G/H - Never openly mocked
I/J - Always have felt dirty before
K/L - Will tell the authorities about
M/N - Told in my confession today about
O/P - Was interviewed by the Times about
Q/R - Told my psychiatrist about
S/T - Get sick when I think of
U/V - Always will try to forget
W/X - Am better off without
Y/Z - Never liked

11. What do you prefer to drink?
Water- Our friendship
Beer - Senility
Soft drink - A new life as a clone
Soda - The incarnation as an eskimo
Milk - The apartment building
Wine - Cocaine abuse
Cider - A passionate interest for mice
Juice - Oprah Winfrey imitations
Mineral water - Embarrassing rash
Hot chocolate - Eggplant-fetishism
Whisky - To ruin the second world war
Other - To hate the Boston Celtics

12. To which country would you prefer to go on a vacation?
Thailand - Warm regards
USA - Best regards
England - Good luck on your short-term leave from jail
Spain - Go and drown yourself
China - Disgusting regards
Germany - With ease
Japan - Go burn
Greece - Your everlasting enemy
Australia - Greetings to your frog Leonard
Egypt - Fuck off now
France - In pain
Other - Greetings to your freaky family